Fabulous Fathers
This month Metro Christian Living honors fabulous fathers; a pastor of 40 years, a dad with a heart to adopt, and a hard working father of triplets. Their stories will inspire, educate, and humor. Here’s to dad.
Dr. Rev. Horace Buckley and Rev. Reginald Buckley
Father and Son—Working Together
Dr. Rev. Horace Buckley and his son Rev. Reginald Buckley share the pulpit at Cade Chapel in Jackson. They also share a desire to support their family and empower their church family with the love of Christ.
MCL: How did you decide to become a minister?
Horace: Gradually. My father was a minister. In my adolescence I thought I would do something else, but I found myself being drawn into this. It’s a very spiritual journey—you go from hating something to embracing it, until it becomes your lifeblood. It’s what you were born to do.
MCL: Did you always know that you were going to follow in your father’s footsteps?
Reginald: “You’re going to preach, you’re going to be the preacher.” I heard that a lot from many of the mothers and Sunday school teachers. It wasn’t necessarily something I ran towards or ran from; it was something that I simply said, “If God says so I’ll embrace that.”
MCL: What were your priorities as a father?
Horace: My priority was to try to present to my sons the kind of example I thought would help shape their lives in a direction where they would make meaningful contributions to society. I tried to give them the opportunities of education that would help them become productive citizens and hopefully community leaders in their own right.
MCL: Did you try to shield your children from racial discrimination?
Horace: I would say to my children, “I need for you to carry yourself in a way so that I don’t have to be put in a position to have to defend you or put myself in harm’s way. Be a responsible son, I’ll try to be a responsible dad.” Those are the kinds of conversations we had and my children responded to that, thankfully, and I’m very proud of how they lived in the community.
MCL: What’s your best advice to any man who becomes a father?
Horace: Try to live in front of your children so that they will respect you, so that they will respect the Christ that we serve. Let your children see the message in your life.
MCL: What are you most proud of about your children?
Horace: They have centered themselves in the Christ that we serve and they love and celebrate their families.
MCL: What’s your favorite scripture?
Horace: “Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind.”
Reginald: “I can do all things through Christ.”
MCL: What’s the quality you respect most in your father?
Reginald: I really respect his courage. There’s never been a time when I’ve have to wonder if he would be there. I admire his stick-to-it-iveness. Once he commits himself to something he has a passion about it. And his commitment to his calling—he has never wavered on that. He has been focused on it and he has weathered many storms in it, but has remained steadfast to it.
MCL: What’s the best advice your dad ever gave you?
Reginald: Get all the education you can. It amazes me how passionate he is about reading. He made a point to instill in us to be knowledgeable, aware, and to always push ourselves to another level of learning.
MCL: What’s it like to work together?
Reginald: It’s a joy. I pastored for nine years before coming back home. I had some concern about what it would be like riding in the second seat and also being the pastor to people who literally changed my diapers, but it’s been an absolute joy alongside of him.
MCL: What would be your advice to other fathers?
Reginald: After God, family must come first. Kids cannot have a question in their mind if they matter and what place they have in your heart.
James and Daphne Clark
Growing Together
In 2005 James and Daphne Clark returned from Russia with two new gifts. Through adoption the Clark family has grown in size, in love and in faith.
MCL: Did you ever consciously sit down and think about HOW you would father?
James: It was a process over time, just growing as a Christian—beginning to think about what it would look like first as a husband and then eventually as a father. I learned early and more so over the years, that fathers are the leaders of the home and the shepherd. In a sense, fathers are to be a reflection in a small way of our heavenly Father.
MCL: When you got married right after college, did you give serious thought to having a Christian home?
Daphne: I think so. We both put ourselves in situations with Christians and had Bible studies, youth group and RUF in college. A lot of it was more “caught” than “taught,” but then after that there were specifics with how to do it. That’s where you start to ask, “Well, what do we do now?” “Are there books to read?”
MCL: What made you look at Russia for adoption?
James: When we realized we wanted more than three children and we weren’t going to be able to have any more of our own, we started to pursue adoption. We had another couple in our church who had adopted from Russia and they went through an adoption agency. We started talking with their agency and a couple others. There was one that we really liked and they specialized in Russia, as far as adoption options.
Daphne: Actually Anna and Peter did not fit our profile. We were thinking two and under, and they were three and five. But we realized that the Lord was just redirecting us, that they really were the exact children.
James: We only had a picture when we went over to meet them for the first time. Russia requires two trips, the first trip was to meet the children and decide if we wanted to pursue it. Then we came back home for a certain period of time before going back to actually finalize it.
Daphne: The children were very supportive. If they had not been it would have been very hard. I think being around larger families made them think “I want more children too.”
MCL: What are the challenges of blending a family like this?
James: I think one is experience, learning to die to yourself more and more, which is actually a good thing too, but before you realize it you see their needs within the household.
Daphne: For all of the difficulties, it really is just a part of being a parent. Desiring to raise them knowing the Lord—life, decisions, just thinking how we live, the chores they do to the service that we want to give to other people. For all of that it’s been wonderful, we really are so blessed.
MCL: What’s your best advice to fathers?
James: To be there for them, to talk with them, to pray for them, to share what life is all about and teach them what it means to have an eternal perspective. It certainly is a process, but you just have to jump in there and be willing to learn and make mistakes and grow in your ability to do it.
Daphne: You grow as you get new ones; you grow as they go through the stages.
James: I’m still learning.
MCL: What’s your favorite scripture?
James: Philippians 3. Striving towards what is ahead.
MCL: How do you keep a sense of peace in your house?
Daphne: It’s hard. We laugh and say for every blessing we say “yes” to we must have said “no” to 15. It’s a challenge, the balance of allowing them to grow as individuals, to have opportunities, and at the same time to not be somehow fractured as a person—I think that’s probably one of our greatest desires to be whole people. And saying no is good and healthy and helpful at times.
James: We are just trying to learn how to live and walk by faith, not by sight, and how that begins to work itself out on a day to day basis. We try to have that eternal perspective and apply that to how we live.
Josh and Cameron Huff
Life Multiplied by Three
Josh and Cameron have been married for 11 years. Their team includes Holt (6 months) and six-year-old triplets Abby, Caroline and Logan born on 3/03/2003.
For Josh and Cameron Huff life is in a constant state of motion. With 6-year-old triplets and a bonus-baby the only speed they know is go. Their approach to life is real and refreshing; real fun and real crazy with a real solid foundation in Christ.
MCL: How much of an influence did your father have on the priorities you now have as a father?
Josh: My dad worked hard, but there was never a time growing up that I didn’t feel like he wasn’t there for me. And that’s how I want to be for my kids.
His priority was family. Work is important and all the other things, but he certainly made it known he prioritized his family first.
MCL: It must be hard just to get through the routine things like baths and dinner and bedtime with this group. How do you make yourself think about the eternal things when your every minute is so filled with the urgent?
Josh: It’s hard. From the time I walk in the door to the time their heads hit the pillow all you do is supper and baths and get ready for bed. You really have to prioritize.
Cameron: There are many times we say bedtime or Bible study?
Josh: They need to get in bed because we know how cranky they will be, but we also know how important it is for them to get that base knowledge of the Bible.
Cameron: It’s really important for us to know we are the main people giving them that time and not completely relying on the church.
MCL: What kind of gifts did the Lord give you to prepare for this?
Cameron: I think he gives you the talents as you need them. I’m not usually the organized one, I usually fly by the seat of my pants and all of sudden here I was with three infants and I just had to be [organized]. It’s amazing the things that come out of you when God puts you in that situation.
MCL: How is each child different?
Josh: Oh they are all so very different.
They told us at the hospital that Abby would be the ringleader, large in charge and no doubt she is. She was the first born by a minute, and she is every bit the first child. She is the most aggressive, but she is also in many ways the most tenderhearted.
Caroline is our drama queen. She loves to talk. Her feet hit the floor and she starts talking and she does not quit. She is full of life and the only one who does her own thing; she is the most independent of the group.
Logan: The nurses in the hospital said this kid is laid back, takes it easy. He really was and somewhat still is.
He’s 100 percent boy. And Holt as much as we can tell is laid back; of course he doesn’t have much of a choice since he gets dragged around town all the time. He’s a very happy baby.
MCL: What are the greatest struggles/greatest joys?
Cameron: Getting out the door in the morning is a struggle.
Josh: Providing for your family, giving them what they need and want is a constant struggle. It’s hard when there are three at a time and the expenses multiply. It’s just one of those things you try to not worry about and trust that the Lord is going to take care of you and provide for you.
And how can you say just one joy? It’s just a joy watching them develop into who they are. Just being able to be a part of their lives, there’s just isn’t anything better than that to me.
MCL: What are your thoughts and advice to nurturing multiples?
Josh: Having family with us early on was a great help.
Cameron: The first time that I stayed by myself at home all day long was the first day he went back to work.
Josh: And that day I walked in the back door and I heard crying so I started making my way toward the back. I could tell it was more than one crying. I finally got back to their room and there were four crying, three kids and Cameron. It’s been easier as they [have gotten older]. One thing that we do, they call “special time,” is on occasion send two of them to their grandparents and keep one with us for a night or day.
Josh (as he’s feeding and burping baby Holt): That time allows them to have individual time. Their personalities change when they get an opportunity to be by themselves. To have that time with us to be their own person and not worry about what anyone else is saying or doing or having to compete for attention has been a really, really good thing.
Cameron: We’re just so grateful to have our parents close.
MCL: Josh, what’s your best tip to another young guy like you, when it comes to doing your job and being the best husband AND father you can be?
Josh: Working is important because it provides for your family, but the best advice I can give is that when you are home—be there. It’s very easy to come home from work and be pre-occupied by the day and you’re tired and worn out and you don’t want to get down on the floor and play or go ride bikes and read books, you just don’t feel like it, but you have got to do it. Take your job seriously, do it to the best of your ability, but don’t let it own your life. Make sure your family is your top priority.
MCL: How do you lean on our Godly Father for support?
Josh: There have been so many times you wonder how you’re going to take the next step. We’ve seen that God has a sense of humor, because if you asked me when we found out we were having triplets, God made a mistake because I can’t handle three kids at one time, but the truth of the matter is He gives us the tools to do what has to be done. Knowing that gives you the confidence that no matter what you’re facing He is there.
MCL: How do you maintain a personal relationship with Christ when personal time is so rare?
Josh: It’s hard and some days you feel like you’re going to crash and burn. I’m trying very hard to take a few minutes at work in the morning and spend a few moments with the Bible open, doing a devotional and in prayer. It rarely seems like there is 30 minutes to spare, but if you take time in spurts it works.
Cameron: It’s been a lesson since they’ve been born that time with God can happen anywhere at any time…the shower is my prayer time.
MCL: What are your hopes for your children?
Cameron: Many, many. For me and I can speak for Josh. My greatest hope is for them to come to a saving knowledge of Christ.
Josh: Instill in them values and that Christian heritage.
We want them to have a really strong foundation for when they are out there on their own, which isn’t too long from now, that they have that good base underneath them and whatever gets thrown at them that they will be prepared. Beyond that, we just hope and pray that whatever their dreams turn out to be, as they get older they will be able to achieve them and we can be a part of helping them.
